Review: You Were Expecting Someone Else?

A hero that fought the Nazis. A hero that vanished from sight! A hero that returns to fight the big baddie from days gone by! And a President of these United States that sings the famous “Bullshit Bullshit Bullshit” song! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rmLAj9iIfQk
No, this is not Captain America OG, or Captain America 2.0 – it’s Captain Invincible, played by Alan Arkin. The baddie of this tale is Mr. Midnight, played by Christopher Lee, chewing up the scenery in his sex dun…. lair. Both are enjoying themselves as they play ridiculous characters and sing in this 1983 Australian feature film that cost $7 million 1983 (Australian?) dollars to make, and made OVER SEVERAL THOUSAND DOLLARS at the box office, before the movie company went bankrupt and the US theatre release was cancelled.
I saw this way back when, and unlike some other childhood movie memories, this lives up to the scattered fragments in my brain. Magnet On!
Captain Invincible is similar to Steve Rogers, used as propaganda in the fight against the bad guys, posing as he takes down Luffenpoofa-something fighter planes wearing his insane eagle helmet and eagle claws on his shoulders.
CI’s powers seem to fluctuate in strength levels – is he invulnerable? How fast can he fly? Does he have super strength? He has a super-computer brain, but is it still running on tubes and wires (poetry in motion), or does he have the Apple M4 chip now?
Unfortunately, “the Legend in Leotards” is accused of being a traitor, and goes into hiding for decades, to drink himself into a stupor as his powers fade along with his memory. All while Mr. Midnight works in the background, waiting for his opportunity to take over the world.
And that day comes as the Evil One steals the Hypno-Ray, to hypnotise leaders into following his commands from his red-painted sex dun… lair. It’s a lair. The President sends out a call, to find the Captain who can hopefully save the day. He’s found by a reporter, who tries to sober up the hero.
Together, our hero and his Aussie-damsel-in-distress will fight mighty henchmen, like the killer vacuum cleaners sucking the air out of the room while strangling them! The deli man who puts mayo on the wrong sandwich, exposing himself as a fake, and then he shoots a gun shaped like…a duck? Magnet On! Captain Invincible tries to save the day with his magnet powers. He won’t fully power up until he hears “she” on his wrist-radio, God Bless America!
This is a musical of sorts, with the Captain and Mr. Midnight in a duel-duet. The Captain and his girl on a fake train, and Mr. Midnight in several costume changes, some quite risque, while smacking his hand with a riding crop in his sex dun… lair. It’s a LAIR. No, this isn’t quite a movie for kids. Not sure who this movie IS for, actually.
It does wear out its welcome before the ending, could have been shorter and tighter. And maybe add a few more scenes with the memorably loud actor, Michael Pate, as President for more comic relief.
Physics, like in Captain America: Brave New World, are set at Cartoon Level. Just detach brain, and enjoy this Captain in the background as you match 3 or more shapes of the same color on your iPhone.
The Return of Captain Invincible is running for FREE on TUBI. Put this obscure reference in your head to pull out sometime to amuse your friends.